Moving Forward...

Life is about choices...consequences...choices. Goodbye Indecision. Life is in session.

dust...ashes...and soot

for five years my life has been unraveling. that stops today. a new chapter begins. letting go of those i can no longer hold in my arms...some i can no longer hold in my heart. dusting off. shoveling out. moving on.

44

i don't remember the last time i was me.

lesson learned

some people are just emotional whores.

wonderMike

mdog...you fill me with joy and wonder. who can be down when you are always up? pure joy. pure love. pure existence. a child with down syndrome...the upside of my contribution to the world. good job, buddy.

my mind cracks

my mind cracks when you speak. teeth grinding as you spew the daily doom and gloom of lives and issues not your own. how do you live in such vile circumstance? how do you not see the blooming wonders around you? I see children...you see work. I see flowers...you see weeds. I see hope...you see misery. I see the door closing upon your soul.

Sometimes...

...the most joy comes from the most unexpected places or people.

Sometimes...
...people who meet unexpectedly and should have nothing to talk about share an unexplained bond and can laugh and talk about anything or nothing at all.

Sometimes...
...what makes sense makes nothing and what makes no sense makes something.

Sometimes...
...an anchor in the storm comes just at the precise moment it is most needed.

Sometimes...
...doing and not thinking works well.

Sometimes...
...a bond is enough. a laugh is enough. a hug is enough. a hand to hold is enough. Thank you for being enough.

autopsy results

NEWSFLASH...the autopsy results reveal the cause of death of said relationship...lethal sugar high caused by artificial sweetener.

lotus logic

lotus bliss defies logic
logic lacks understanding of undone deeds.
sail on a ship to lands far away
where lotus eaters eat all day
sail on a ship to oceans far away
and mountains called sisters.

nOn

stand tall & weaken not
you are adapting to the NON.
Nonsense.
Nonexistent.
Nonimportant.
a bump in the road of life, my dear.
one day to be a NONissue in your fabric.

i think less of someone. . .

. . . who leaves without closing the door on things.

. . . who tosses around heavy terms like respect and safety and trust.

. . . whose example would not serve a daughter well.

. . . who bought tickets for the crazy train instead of a magic carpet ride.

the boy who tried too hard

i once dated someone who a friend's sister pegged for me one night after we ceased to exist as a couple. she said, "i never really liked him...he tried too hard." i don't know why i've been thinking about that today as it was years ago, but it's so true. he laughed just a little too long...too loud. he was just a bit too happy when he was happy... not genuine. and in the end, i concluded that he was indeed living a lie with himself and his life. sometimes people just try too hard to be someone they just aren't and it makes the rest of us uncomfortable if we are paying enough attention to even notice or care. i don't think i've ever tried too hard to be something i'm not. i have the opposite problem. . . i need to try harder to be less of me. lol. i am too open and genuine. there must be a balance ... my goal for 2010...balance.

hellyfish

I awoke last night with what appeared to be a jellyfish in my right eye. Had surveillance cameras been installed in my house, what a sight to see...me running around with my eye covered, making an ice pack. I stopped every few seconds to cover up the "non-jellyfish" eye to make sure I was not blind. All i could think of was the Helen Keller unit I teach my freshmen and how if I go blind, I could relate more to the kids from my experience. OY VEY.

Panic breeds wild thought process breeds laughter breeds tears. Trip to the doctor gets me a mandatory day out of school, eye drops and PINK EYE! So, I may skip the HK unit next fall afterall.

sPrInG bReAk...

i need you.
i want you.
i gotta have you.
beach.waves.seashells.sanity.

Quote of the Moment...

from a good friend's post ... "Wake up and pee the world is on fire." - Derek Evans

thread of life...

as i write this a friend's sister is being flown to chicago in an effort to stabilize her and remove the now deceased 6-month-old baby boy inside of her. heartbeat was strong at 1:00. baby boy was gone at 1:45. life is so mysterious. fragile. short. the pain this woman will endure physically and emotionally over the next few days and months is gut-wrenching. sometimes things just happen and there is no reason. no why. no it's for the best. it just is.

Great Friends Rediscovered

Facebook may be a time suck, but it has reconnected me with some very important people from my past who were major threads in the fabric of my life...Stacey, Julie, Val...and NOW ... Derek...all the way in Germany. There are those who enter your life and never, ever leave your heart. Welcome to FB, Derek! You have always been one of my best friends in the world even though you've always been bopping about the world. :)

Sometimes...

all that is needed is a place to lay one's head and heart.

Morrison's Poetry Cafe

rAndOm

When standing at the fork in the road, 'whether' becomes a factor.